Name Days and a Wasted Holiday

9.13 AM

It supposed to be a holiday today. No work. Supposedly. I had to bid my free day adieu and grudgingly prepared myself for work just four hours earlier. Yes, I did take my time. Yes, that is indicative of how much I do not want to go to work today.

Of course, there is a legitimate reason for this mandate of our beloved company: it's event season and we've got three happening simultaneously this week.

Do I understand that reasoning? Yes.

Am I gonna be a dick and still want my holiday? Yes.

Am I still gonna try to work at my fullest capacity when I get to work today? Yes, and hopefully I'll get it all done early so I can bug out of there by 3 PM. I've got my bestie's birthday to get to.


1.49 PM

She had developed a nature of abruptness. Or perhaps she had it all along; I was just none the wiser. At times, talking to her makes me feel like I've offended her version of ethical sensibilities. And I may have -- once, long ago, and I've tried to make it up to her, really.

But one gets tired of trying to get into another's good graces and I thought, 'Does it really matter?' I decided that I had done enough penance. What else can I do if they can't get over the whole thing? I don't think it makes my apology any less honest. Some people just can get past anything to see the honesty.


4.51 PM

I just snuck out from work.

It's not as if I can't leave at any time I want today; it is considered an overtime work day. It's just people tend to frown upon you leaving early when they have to stay behind and finish whatever work they have to do. Apparently, tendering overtime even when you don't have to is a way to show solidarity.

My rule: If I finished my work early, I get to leave early.

The rest of them can suck it up.


12.53 AM

The bestie's birthday party was epically hilarious.

We were a group of people, virtually strangers, connected through one person and we were all sitting and conversing with ease, an outsider would've sworn we all knew each other for years.

I enjoyed that seamlessness. I wished it could always be that way with new people I meet. But, alas, I'm much to introverted with strangers. I love those rare special cases though. It gives me hope in my capacity to connect.

To the bestie, Happy Birthday! My fondest thoughts to you always. 10 years of friendship, good and bad faced with a bond stronger than ever. Here's to another decade more and beyond.

Walang umayan.

Clusterfucks and Fuckers

Tuesday, 08 October 2013

7.53 am

The morning started early enough that I feel confident that I won't be late. Of course, that is entirely at the mercy of unpredictable traffic. Some days it feels like the world is making way for you. Then, there are days that make you question getting up that morning in the first place. In those days you find yourself on the van's worst seat possible. Your seated next to some schmuck who likes to spread himself out in an incredibly cramp place and the driver is a disrespectful twat who likes to swerve and drive like a maniac. Those days you're sure the driver is trying to kill his passengers.

I guess it's pretty obvious that commute to work isn't something I enjoy. Can you blame me though? It's mostly fearing for your life and invasion of personal space.

Today, however, is a better day. Nice seat, considerate stranger for a seatmate, and so far the driver seems okay. Traffic seems amicable, too.

Should I take this as a sign that it's gonna be a good day?

Nah. Experience has told me that's not always the case.

Unless this is the day that I get to meet his sexiness Tom Hiddleston, the jury is still out.

So far commute is going relatively smooth. I might hazard to say that I may get to work by 8.30 am, friendly road forecast permitting.

9.12 am

One of the main issues I have with work is people overstepping their bounds. It seriously rubs me the wrong way, even if you tell me that it was done with the best of intentions.

With full vehemence I say fuck that noise or I will find a way to fuck up your shit.

I have my responsibilities and I try my damnest to make sure I keep up with them. Even if the workplace is an absolute clusterfuck right now, I always give my best at what I do; I've tried doing subpar work and it just wasn't in me.

To the meddling punk ass bitch at work:

Don't make me feel like I'm not doing a good enough job by trying to take over work I'm responsible for. You don't see me in an arms race and gunning for your job. Sit your ass down and mind your own business. You are the very last thing I need to be dealing with.

1.57 pm

A friend from work and I decided to head out of the office for lunch. We were due for a change of scenery, even if for just an hour and a half.

Conversation consisted mostly of the woes of work. We both had ideas of how things could change for the better. We discussed worries and ideals that we're sure most people at work would agree on -- silently or otherwise.

Call it ranting, but we were due for that as well.

It is clear that change is needed but how do I spark it when I have no means? It's easy enough to dream of having things my way. Just the same, the whole situation isn't just about me. There's a bigger picture to consider; one that affects all the lives connected to it.

So I resign myself to focusing on what I can control: my responsibilities and doing right by my work.

6.30 pm

More conversations followed for the rest of the afternoon. Work, people at work, insufferable people at work. It wasn't the work itself that erodes patience, kindness, and consideration. It was people spreading toxicity.

Blame it on the stress if you must but rudeness is inexcusable. Take it this way: if being disrespectful is frowned upon on children who, generally, are still grasping the concepts of propriety, what more with grown, fully functioning adults?

Making an example from what happened just before I left work: if a colleague humanely asks for you and your group to tone down your voices, it would be a kindness for you to consider the request and deliver. To answer derisively is criminal on my book. I don't think quietness is such an incredible mole hill to climb.

Perhaps people need to go trekking up the heights of their massive egos to get over themselves.

Today's moral: Don't be a cunt. No matter how bad your day is.