On the Struggle for Self-Control and Tact

www.someecards.com

No truer words have been disseminated on the internet than the ones above, at least in my case. I often struggle with biting my tongue in many situations daily and there are times that I wish I could just say what I want and damn the consequences. But I know that will never work in my favor; I'd be offending people by the dozens if I completely forgo the filter between my brain and my mouth. I do slip up sometimes. It could be because something was too funny not to share, then in the end I'll realize that most people do not have my warped and pervy sense of humor. Sometimes it is when I am really upset and holding it in is just impossible; that usually involves yelling and things flying from my hand towards my intended target.

I mostly struggle with people and their ignorance and narrow mindedness on things. Considering the conservative culture I was raised in, this happens often enough and it takes all my effort not to jump their throat, though the throat-jumping is usually prompted by insufferable people and insufferable ideas, opinions, and actions.

Can you imagine a world where everybody had no choice but to say what's on their mind? I surmise utter chaos. I also think nobody would be friends with each other. Man may well become an island. 

Whenever I'm thinking about opening my mouth to speak my mind, I always try to ask these there questions:

Should it be said?

Should it be said by you?

Should it be said now?

It makes sense really. Sometimes things should be left unsaid to avoid conflict. Sometimes you have no business talking about things. Sometimes its just not the time to say it. It always pays to subscribe to the trait of tactfulness, don't you think?

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.

On Not Being Bothered

I'm taking this as an opportunity to express how true the above words are. I try to live by this as much as I can in my life. It's not easy but, in my opinion, there is nothing better than living your life and let the little things, the unimportant things sort itself out.

I think it was in high school I began to realize that there were bigger things in play and what I thought mattered back then wouldn't be so relevant in the future. I was bullied for a part of my high school life, mostly because my peers didn't like the way I was. Instead of trying to fit in to the status quo, I was more determined to be myself and to establish that this is who I am and it what these bullies thought didn't matter. What was important was that I didn't hide my truest self. It may have made me more vulnerable to teenage persecution but at least I was someone I could take pride on. The bullies were irrelevant, their opinions without merit. 

I think it's important to take enough care to think about what's worth pouring energy into, or at least that's what I try to do. I'd hate to waste effort and emotion into something that wasn't worth it in the end. If I wasted time in worrying about what people say about me and try to "perfect" my image, I would be one unhappy woman. I'd rather think about what I can do to better myself for me and for the people I love. 

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.

On Reading and Flirting

from asofterworld.com

I'd like to think that it wouldn't matter whether or not my partner likes to read but then I think how they won't completely understand my awe of the new book I'm reading or that they won't be able to relate to my reminiscing of the classics I got lost in when I was young. Reading, in my opinion, offers this opportunity of rapport between people, a jump of point of interests that becomes fodder to meaningful conversation and thought-provoking debate that, for someone such as I, look for in a relationship.

I relate to someone more if they share my love of books and reading; it's not to say that I prefer their company over non-readers, it's just that I find it easier to relate to fellow bookworms because I already have something in common with them. Translating that into a dating situation, meeting and conversing with someone for the first time whose reading repertoire extends to more than textbooks allows me to have a good time because I know that the date won't be mundane and I know that my mind will be stimulated. Stimulate my mind and you'll  be able to stimulate my heart (among other things *wink,wink*).

So I like a well-read person. That's not a crime. We all have our standards in attraction. I don't think one has to have a vast library stereotypical of your standard bookworm. But I think it is important to appreciate what a good book can offer and be open to give a book a chance to change your mind about reading.

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.

On Reality and Fantasy

Photo: Stephen Colbert on reality.

Have you ever lost yourself in your own thoughts? Ever created your own fantasy land?

For myself, it is as constant as breathing. Sometimes being in your own head is better than being in the real world. Not to say that the real world is completely terrible but being getting lost in your imaginings can be very entertaining.

In your head, you can create scenarios of your own, like films where your are producer, script writer, and director. It could be epic adventures with your favorite fictional characters. You could be playing out a real life event but this time you call the shots and dictate an ending of your choice. When you think about it, you can concoct any fantasy in you head, all you need is a healthy dose of imagination.

But it does pay to face reality and not let your imaginings get over your head. Losing touch with reality is never a good thing; the potential for delusion is bound to stir up trouble. Fantasy may provide an escape from real life and your problems but it is better to face them. It may take you a while to do so but that's normal. What's important is you learned to deal.

I say reality and fantasy should have a healthy balance. Reality keeps you grounded and your imaginings provides an outlet.

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.

  

On Working a Little Harder

With a New Year comes the usual resolutions that we come up with. We either follow through or we give after a while. This year I have decided on one main resolution that I think will affect the entirety of my 2013: work harder.

I will admit that at times I do coast along when it comes to work and other things. It's just easier that way. My euphoria of getting things done with little to no effort can be addicting but that niggling feeling of dissatisfaction in my work persists and wins out in the end. 

I'm the type of person that takes pride in what they do because it reflects on the type of person that they are. I hate it when people half-ass their work and by coasting I am becoming what I dislike. No person worth their salt would ever stand for such a thing.

Even if I've put more effort in the things that I do, there is always room for more hard work. This applies to not only in the office but in other aspects of life as well. It's always been easier to talk the talk but actually doing it is an entirely different thing; I'll just have to focus and remember to work harder. On everything.

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.

On Why Quality Sometimes Trumps Quantity

Image from inpirationfeed.com

I've always gravitated to quality more so than quantity. I believe that quality will get your money's worth and that it's not a completely bad thing to spend on good things; you just have to make sure to spend what you can spend and not more than you make.

I've experienced people telling me that I was wasting my money on buying expensive things just because I believed that it was worth it. Disapproving looks accompanied with patronizing sighs were oft directed at me whenever I acted upon an impulse to buy what I deemed "quality stuff". One memory that comes to mind is the time I had bought some rather pricey yet extremely yummy ice cream as a reward for finishing exam week on a relatively okay note. A then friend of mine proceeded to lecture me, almost as if he was questioning my life choices. I remember he said that he could buy a dozen cheaper ice cream with the amount I spent that day on a single cup. 

The thing is, for people who think the way I do when it comes to the practically age-old argument of quality vs. quantity, it's never about how many you can have but the value of what you have. And just because I prefer quality, it doesn't mean that I spend ridiculous amounts of money just to get that; I am well aware of my paycheck's limits. Wanting quality doesn't always mean you are unwise with your money. Admittedly, managing money is difficult but you can always learn from every experience.

I try to save for the things that I want. It is said the quality takes patience, so I try not to balk on biding my time for something I really want. It gets frustrating but in the end it pays of.

Here are my rules:

• There is nothing wrong with spending some money on good, quality food once in a while. Don't let people get you down for wanting to treat yourself with gourmet ice cream as a reward. :]
• If you to buy something of quality and spending your money on it won't directly affect anyone, then gosh darn it you shouldn't get lambasted for doing so.
• Again, never spend more than you can afford. Never let a price tag bankrupt you.
• Also, it is possible to find a cheaper alternative to products without sacrificing quality. It's untrue that quality always means expensive.
• I believe that quality products that  will last a very long time is worth investing in. Think about it for a second. Because it will last long, even a lifetime, you won't have to shell out money for another one for as long as it is functional. I always apply this rule when it comes to shoes, bags, and gadgets.
• Take care of these things. It makes quality go a long way and it shows how you value the things you work hard for. 

On a final note, I would like to say that I do not purvey materialism with this post but I don't believe that it's bad to want things for yourself. If you work for it and your're being wise about it, I see nothing wrong in indulging yourself. But that's me.

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.

On Tea Drinking

I adore tea. I'd gladly have it as my only drink for the rest of my life. I'm currently trying to grow my tea collection but, unfortunately, variety in tea here in the country is limited. I could always order online but as I am limited to funding as well, I may have to just bide my time as far as my tea collection goes.

Tea can do many things. Many teas have properties that can do various things. Green tea keeps you healthy. Camomile helps you relax. Yerba Mate can be an alternative to coffee and keeps you awake and energized. Lavender tea aids you in finding sleep. Like I said, tea can do a many things.

Besides it's many helpful attributes, I believe that tea is a safe kind of social lubricant. It brings people together, i.e. tea and cookies with friends or family. I like the idea of sitting across the table from someone, sharing conversation over hot tea. It just seems so... homey. Ideally, I'd like to get my closest friends together, have tea with them and just talk but most of friends aren't tea drinkers. One can still hope though.

Tea is my companion. Lemon tea while I'm writing. Camomile tea as I read a really good book. Earl gray with milk as I'm starting my weekend morning. For someone like me who enjoys their own company, tea has become the drink of choice.

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.

On Seeing

Photography by Suren Manvelyan

Most people would argue that our sense of sight is the most important sense that we humans have. And why not? With sight we are able to do a lot of things - read and write, differentiate form and color, recognize the people around you, discern safety from danger, and many more. Our sight is truly a gift that we should not take for granted.

But sometimes I think that being able to see hinders us in a way.

With our eyes we are quick to judge a person by how they look. From the moment we set our sights on someone we'll take into account their flaws or their beauty. People would even judge someone's character through their looks. Tattoos? Criminal or in a gang. Multiple-piercings? A freak. Brightly colored hair? Weirdo. Fat? Unhealthy lifestyle. Let's be honest, this happens more than we care to admit. And sometimes people who look like society's definition of appealing aren't exactly who they seem to be.

I sometimes wish that our eyes could tell who a person really is just by looking at them. Like some scanner embedded in your brain that tells you which people are the real and genuine and which ones are no good. But then the fascination and risk that comes with getting to know people would be gone and I bet life would be less exciting then.

As the familiar adage goes, we shouldn't judge a book by its cover. People are a layered heap of facets; we aren't one-dimensional and we are not defined by our outer selves. Live by not judging people on the way they look but rather on what they do and how they act. You'll find that the best people aren't always the most conventional.

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.

On Virginity and Sex

Virginity is quite a subject. On one hand, you are teased, even ridiculed, for being one, and on the other you are revered for being novel in a world where sex has become mainstream.

Most religions impress upon the importance of abstaining from carnal pleasures, wait for marriage, they say. Sometimes implying, and sometimes rather blatantly, that being a virgin makes you better than those non-virgin types obviously having sex all the time (I hope the sarcasm wasn't missed there).

I think people just get too invested on other people using their naughty bits for the purpose of fornication. As I am not tied to any religious beliefs, I'm fine with people having sex, as long as it's consensual and that  they very much understand what sex can mean to them and their partner. Mind you, your significance of sex can be different from others. And of course, don't be an idiot, use protection. The modern age is abundant with it.

Being a virgin is no big deal either. It just means you've never had sex and, for the ladies, that your hymen is intact, although sometimes that's not the case, especially for the athletic type. For me, it doesn't mean that you should be held at a different light, positive or negative, just because you are one. It's neither a good nor a bad thing; it's just simply being. 

This has been a Wednesday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

DISCLAIMER: No copyright infringement intended. I take no ownership of the image used in this blog post. Images found on the internet are considered for public use unless explicitly dictated otherwise.