Flashback Friday: Love Me

Poetry, September 2005 — I'm thinking of renaming this series to Shameful Fridays, at least where my poetry is concerned. As predicted, it's another pathetic and sad poem from my teenage days. I really cannot stress the fact that I was going through some, err... issues back then and I've since learned my lesson. Expect 'unrequited love' to be the theme with this one. Are my dear and few readers even surprised?

Love Me

Show me how you really want me to be
And not just some lost fantasy
Know for me for what I do and show
And not for what pleasures I bestow

Treat me like a human
Like I am your only one
Look into my eyes and see the longing
And hear my heart calling

Realize we’re meant to be
That we are not just passion and bodies
Realize that we are one
Or so help me God I’ll come undone

There is more to us than what we have
And we’ve made it this far through the good and bad
Let’s make memories of love and care
I’ll love you forever if I dare

This has been a Friday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.
 

Flashback Friday: A Broken Heart's Thoughts

Poetry, 2005 — The cheesiest and most emo Flashback Friday yet. I'm actually quiet embarrased to post this. 2005, man. It was pungent with teenage angst. Don't judge me, please. I was young and I needed to express myself. 

A Broken Heart's Thoughts

Love has gone away again

And you know your heart would never mend

You built up a wall around yourself

And swore never to be stuck in another love fest

You walk the world with no heart

Keeping yourself and love apart

You speak of no love and no care

But you know you’d love again if you dare

You’ve learned once how hurtful it could be

To love and love regretfully

But if all you’d get is a broken heart

Then you’d rather be alone than play the part

Flashback Friday: The One I Want

Prose, 2005 — Another short story for this Friday post. A little trivia: back in 2005, I used the nom de plume First Class Fool. I heard it in a Joss Stone song and I thought it appropriate for my teenage self, being as I was unwittingly foolish at the time with the subject of love. Aren't we all though? Like the previous prose post, this one starts a bit sad but picks up towards a happier ending. I think this was me projecting my want of a happy ending for myself in my writing. 

The One I Want

She hurriedly ran towards their meeting place – that grove in the park where they would always meet back when they were getting acquainted with each other. She ran faster now, knowing that he wouldn’t wait for long. She nearly tripped as she came to a stop by the trees. He was standing with his back facing her. He was looking up the night sky, up to the moon. She didn’t know how to approach him. She didn’t even know if he wanted to talk to her. But she had to do it. She had to talk to him and let him know how she truly feels.

“Richard?”

He turned then, and her heart nearly broke at the sight of him. His blue eyes looked so sad – like he’d lost somebody… like he’d lost her. “Marie?” He sounded incredulous. It was as if he could not believe she was there. He opened his arms wide then and she came rushing into him. They embraced tightly, sinking into one another.

They withdrew from one another, and like before they looked up the night sky and up the moon. There was a peaceful silence then, and for a moment they were content. They were standing with him behind her, still embracing.

He spoke then, “How did it go?”

She stiffened a little, hesitating whether she was going to tell him what had happened. She had gone to a party where her sister and her fiancé, Brian, were the celebrants. She had decided to go to see, if there was still something left in her heart for Brian, to whom she was once in love with, but once Brian saw her sister, Elizabeth, he had clearly fallen love at first sight with her. So Marie stood in the sidelines watching their love grow and feeling so thorn apart about it. Until she met Richard.

Since she met him she smiled more often than not. She laughed. She learned how to have fun again. She was happy. But still there was a shadow of doubt lingering in the back of her mind and in her heart. So she went to the party just to see, and now she was here, with him, ready to take the first step in moving on.

“How did it go?” He repeated.

She was still quiet. He started to let go of her. “Look, if you don’t want to talk about it…”

She turned to him. “I do want to talk about it! It’s just that I –”

“You what?” There was a hurt look in his eyes and she knew she could not deny him any longer.

She placed her hands on his cheeks and lowered his face so she could kiss him softly on his lips. She hugged him tightly and proceeded to tell him what exactly happened.

“I saw them together.” She began. “They were happy and all I could think about was –”
“How you should have been the one with him instead of her?” he supplied spitefully.

“No!” She exclaimed. “That’s not it, Richard.”

“Then what?” He said, his tone rising. “I mean when we first met all you could talk about was Brian and your whole heart ache!”

“No…” She said, placing a hand on his cheek. “I saw them together and all I could think about was you and how happy you make me. All that I’ve felt for Brian before – they are all gone, and all that’s left in my heart is you. I don’t want Brian… I want you.”

He kissed her then. Holding her tight as if he was afraid she would disappear at any moment. “I’m glad…” He whispered. “That you chose me.”

“I love you.” She said. “It wasn’t that hard to figure out.”

“I love you too.” He whispered back.. “Be with me?”

“Forever…” She whispered.

This has been a Friday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.

Flashback Friday: Come Back

Prose, 2005 — This one was written when I was 15 as well. In fact, expect that all posts from 2005 were written by 15-year-old me. 15 was a trying age for me, what with my love-sickness and all that pining for romance. Naturally, most of what I've written at that time was themed as such. 

This story is about love found again. I can't quite recall what inspired this story. Perhaps I was high on romance novels back then. As I expected, I did cringe when I read this again after seven years of it laying dormant in the archives, but not as much as I did with my poetry from the last Flashback Friday post. So now, with further ado...

Come Back

 

She watched wearily as he approached her, her eyes noting every single ounce of perecftion. She never thoguht he'd come back; never thought she'd see him again. But there he was, like a ghostly apparition of some nightmare-dream.

He stopped a mere few feet from her, near enough to hold her captive should she choose to turn away.

She looked into his eyes, and she nearly drowned into those green depths. Her father once said that the eyes were windows to one's soul and to one's heart, but looking into his eyes, she saw nothing. No love. No hate. No happiness nor sadness, just cold emptiness. 

She didn't know what to do. Common sense told her to turn the opposite way and run like the dogs of hell were after her, but what she wanted to do was to wrap her arms around him, hold him close to her, and never let him go.

Tears were starting to fall now. they shown brightly against her rosy cheeks. A tentative hand rested against them to wipe the tears away and she placed her own hand over his rough and calloused one.

Finally she saw emotion in those green eyes. There was sadness and remorse, but most of all there was regret.

She didn't know how it had happened — if she made the first move or he did — but they were in each others arms. Wrapped in an embrace so tight, she thought she would sink into him and she wanted to.

He whisphered words in hear ear. His regret in leaving her. the sadness that followed him everywhere. The contentment and satisfaction he could not find with any other woman but only with her. And in return she told him of her own sadness and her own regrets.

He whispered his love to her and she to him. Finally they released each other, only to embrace once more in a never ending love.

The sun broke into the horizon. It shined its bright rays of light at them. It marked a new day. A new day for him. A new day for her. A new day for the both of them — together.

This has been a Friday post brought to you by The Purple Madhouse.